I've decided to log back into Livejournal for two reasons. One, to see what was new. Apparently, not a whole hell of a lot. The only major thing was that I apparently last logged into this website approximately 40 weeks ago. (That's how far back my messages went). Yeah, I'm not so good at this.

The number two reason I decided to log in was because I need to rant. A lot. Where to begin? Well, lets just skip all of the bullshit that has progressed within the last X amount of months and get right to the chase, shall we? Today was a really easy day for me at work. However, when I arrived home I realized that I needed to pick up the yard. Picking up the yard -I get $45 off rent every month if I walk around twice a week and pick up all the dog shit from every dog in our complex (Around 18 dogs in total). That's a lot of shit! I have a huge bucket I carry around with a plastic liner in it and shovel in the poop. Yeah, exciting. But hey, you have to do what you have to do in order to get by right!? My paycheck was very ...I mean VERY low this past week because I only worked two days. Why? My grandfather died. So I am waiting on the lazy asses at Corporate office to process my Bereavement pay. *Sigh* Still nothing. My paycheck was a whopping $75.00 (Rounded up)! Not such a huge deal, since James and I seem to be very good at keeping our checking and savings accounts pretty cushion-y. However, I just had all four of my wisdom teeth removed. That cost us $500 up front! AND I maxed out my dental insurance! What the hell?! We're still waiting on James' school loan check to come so we can actually afford our rent this month. -Its due on the 15th, and the loan money doesn't come until the end of the month. So instead what we are doing is living paycheck to paycheck trying to cut back on some expenses. I'm even considering shutting off our cell phone services! We're done paying off my car in December, but that's not for another three months! And then, we have to buy James a new car because his is falling apart. James is still going to school...

School. Oh God. School. He got his degree in Human and Social Services, but cannot find a job to save his life! All the jobs around here are gone. Meaning, there aren't any to apply for! So, he's back in school going for a Nursing degree. He hates it, but its something to hopefully bring in a little income... In four years... If he doesn't finish this degree or cannot find a job, he's done going to school. We've already racked up $25,000.00 worth in debt because of his schooling. They're already calling us wanting us to pay up! I cannot even afford rent... What am I supposed to do?

The option has always been available for us to live with family, but If I can escape that, I will! I will make it work!

Work. Oh God. Work. Do not even get me started! Today was an easy day, yes. But every other day? Not so easy. I'm being pushed and prodded at to take positions I absolutely do not want! I am in charge of idiots who cannot perform their duties up to par, therefore I have to clean up after them! And when they aren't idiots, they don't seem to want to work at all. I don't make any money what-so-ever, yet the idiots I'm in charge of make more than I do! (YOU FIGURE IT OUT!)

I'm tired. I'm so very tired. I'm tired of being broke. I'm tired of having no goals. I'm tired of dealing with everything. I'm tired of my broken relationship. I'm tired of my job. I'm tired of bills. I'm tired of being treated like shit. I'm tired of being tired.

Its been awhile since I've posted. I guess I just forgot I had an LJ account. Hopefully I will get better at this, seeing as how I need some sort of outlet. Life is still as shitty as always. Its hard to see a "Bright side," or the "Glass as half full," when you don't even see a glass! There's just this liquid everywhere. Well, at least there is liquid. See? I do see a somewhat morbid bright side!

My car is at the dealers right now because my car won't even start. It doesn't even try to turn over! The battery died, so we went out and spent $88 for a new one. We tried so hard getting my car to start, that we drained the new battery completely. For three days I have been without a car, and I am tired of bumming rides from neighbors and co-workers. Last night we had one of our neighbors who builds cars for "Fun" and another neighbor who is an engineer for Goodyear, and my husband who knows the basics about cars working under my hood and tearing apart my stereo system trying to find the problem. -To no avail. Now my radio has been ripped out, the wires re-arranged, the electrical work played with, jump started a few times, the engine inspected and my "Theft system" (That GM thought was a great idea to install into Malibu's and Impala's just to fuck with you) checked. Nothing seems to do the trick. This morning we called the dealer, paid $59 to have it towed, and now we're waiting for the call.

The Call. That's what we call it. That dreaded phone call that says "Your car is officially a piece of shit, and needs to be worked on. This will cost you!" The dealer said, worst case scenario, we will shell out about $800 to repair it. *Sigh* $800 we don't have!!! Please cross your fingers.

Work is work. I still hate it. I always will. That's just a fact. Yesterday the assistant manager tried (but to no avail, again) to ask me if I wanted the Key Carrier position. He said I would get at least a $1 raise. A dollar raise... Great. To pay for the car I still have to fix... I declined. He asked why I wasn't interested in getting a raise, having 3 days off per week and taking up the Home Health Care position. Gee, let me think:
1. I would be in charge of the likes of Cari, Bobbie and Paige. No.
2. You couldn't pay me enough to do the above.
3. I don't plan on being here for the rest of my life, and I'm currently looking for another job to fill this void of unhappiness.
4. I already take care of the "Drug Wall," by ordering, stocking and maintaining it -Not to mention the head book keepers position I am currently forcibly tied into because you lame-asses fired the original book keeper! You want to throw "Key Carrier" at me, and expect me to pick up Home Health Care too?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!?! And... for just $1 raise. Right. Um, NO!

At this point, the manager said "What if I can give you Sundays off too?" Sunday shifts are all day shifts. Seriously. 9am to 10pm. My answer: No. The next thing was "What if I can get you a $2 raise?" *Sigh* No. "I'll buy you a steak dinner!" No. I don't like steak. "Then I'll buy you a lobster dinner!" No. I don't like lobster either. "Then I'll take you to Burger King!" Once again... NO!

On top of all of this, I awoke last night at approximately 3:30am, gushing blood. Yep. Good old Aunt Flo came a knocking on my door. I was in so much terrible pain, from 3:30am to about 4:30am, I popped 3 (Yes, THREE!) Aleve and headed back to bed in the fetal position due to the pain. I cried myself to sleep, and was awoken this morning at 9am from James calling the dealers and tow truck drivers. I'm currently sitting here typing this out in order to keep from popping a Midol or more Aleve and calling it quits. I'm done, and I'm ready to throw in the towel.

As a side note, I've also contacted a cold from standing outside for the last three days helping the others "Fix" my car. Snot nosed, sore/scratchy throat and getting a cough... awesome.

The upside to all of this?

Well...

1. Maybe I'll have a fixed car (Or have to buy a new one)
2. I will always hate my Drug Mart job, but this is just more motivation to get me the HELL OUT of there!!!
3. My period came. At least I'm still ovulating. Which means, I've still got my "Window of opportunity" to have children. Who knows how long it will last, but at least its here. Who wants to bring children into this kind of world where everything shits on you?
4. The cold has no upside. I just got done being sick less than a week ago, and now I have it again.

That is all.

-Annie-

Today, my goal is to write a letter to a dictator of sorts to stop torture. So here goes nothing.

Your Majesty,

My name is Anne, and I live in the United States of America. I am writing to you today, to let you know how I feel about the tortures you have bestowed upon the entire world (Not just the U.S. And anyway, its not like it matters, because this won't reach you...Nor do you care that this tortures us so.) As good of news as this is to you, it is not for us. Recently, news blurbs across the globe have stated that Prince William will be marrying a woman named Kate.

While I do send some sort of congratulatory messages to you, I hope this doesn't happen. But if it must, I hope this doesn't take up more airwaves in our nation, because we just don't freaking care. Its torture to some of us to have to sit through programs or flip past articles in magazines and newspapers about Prince Willy and his mate. No one cares. Its not like you're really royalty, so why should we? You see, I would much rather read about Lindsay Lohan's whereabouts because that's just more interesting than this piece of garbage.

Some part of me wishes this new couple lives happy, but please... Please... Stop with the press. Its sickening.

Yours Truly,
Ann Witty

Last night our challenge for the book was to pick and animal (Any animal!!!) that you would like to be re-incarnated as...

I choose a Phoenix. Because then I can just keep being reborn. :) Simple. But seeing as how Phoenix's are fictional animals (The book DID say ANY animal!), I think it would be better to just be either a bird or a fish. Birds can fly, and that would be cool... And fish swim crazy fast -They're also on the end of the food chain.

Then, I decided that maybe I'd like to be a sea turtle. Just because. Simple, once again, and beautiful creatures.

Today, I was to go the entire day without saying "Yes" or "No." That was actually a lot harder than it seemed! The first word I thought of was "MmHmm," or "Uh uh!" or even just simply nodding. I had to work today, so it was even more difficult. I can't great customers and answer their questions using the above terms! I made it until just before work... I tried again. I made it another hour or so. I tried a third time and stuck through until eight o'clock. I fucked it up again! Then I just gave up.

:) How was everyone's day?!

Last night in "This Book Will Change Your Life," I had to complete one very minuscule task... But it took forever to do so! Here is a list of things that I will NEVER do before I die:

1. Meet the real Santa Clause
2. Meet the real Easter Bunny


That's it. Because everything else IS possible, and I wouldn't put it past myself. The above 2 things can only occur if some random guy is named Santa Clause (And I happen to meet him, and he is real), and there actually is a bunny I happen to meet on Easter (Because Bunny's can't talk, and therefore cannot tell me that he/she is indeed the real Easter Bunny. Even if it DOES happen, I probably wont be surprised, because I will do literally anything else the world hands me. Yes, even have a goat-boy for a baby.)

I will make a deal with Satan, lick an electrical eel, cause an intergalactic riff, meet an alien, sacrifice a goat, confess my sins to a whore AND a priest, part the red sea, become a queen and smoke a cat if it is my will. There isn't any telling what your future holds, therefore, the above 2 named things I will *probably* not do.

What's yours?!

James and I decided to follow a book that we heard about from one of our other mutual friends. This book is called "This Book Will Change Your Life," and each day you must complete ONE task...For a whole year! Its pretty simple, and extremely easy to do. Except today's task, that is. Today's task was to write a letter. Not just any letter, of course. It has to be a letter addressed to a mass murderer. Seeing as how I don't generally follow murder cases, I decided my best option was to write to Charles Manson. Google him, if you don't already know. So here it is:

Dear Charles Manson,

I am writing to you today because it was a task given to me by a book. Does this sound crazy? Who are you to judge crazy? I don't intend to actually mail this to you because our postal system requires us to include a forwarding/from address on the envelope, and that just isn't going to happen. Lets just face it, you're out of your mind and a very scary individual...So I'm not going to actually SEND you a letter. Just in case. Anyway, I am writing to you because I would like to know a few things.

The first, why did you do what you did? I know you didn't physically kill people, because you're crazy and oddly brilliant. You got others to do the dirty work for you! Then again, you aren't so brilliant because you're the one rotting in a cell somewhere in California, and I hope that situation stays. As I continued my research on you (You're famous!), I found that you were heavily involved in cults and satanic beliefs. This is your choice. So I guess I'm just wondering WHY? Why everything?

The second, How does it feel to be rotting away slowly in a dank prison cell in complete isolation? I think I would just go absolutely mad, but then... You already are. Can an insane person get even more crazy? I wonder.

Finally, I would like to know if you feel anything at all. Because judging by recent interviews and information that can easily be found on the web (a really great experience, but you wouldn't know since you've been rotting and going crazy for the last what? 30-40 years?), you don't. Which wouldn't even make you an individual. You aren't a person anymore. You gave that up years ago when you went crazy.

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a cold room. I was cold. Very cold. I died. They buried me, and then the worms came. Worms? I hate worms. They drive me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. Haha just kidding Charlie. Can I call you Charlie? Not like it matters. Anyway, hope you have an awful time rotting away and getting more insane as the days go by. I pray for this, because I'm of Catholic faith, and that's just what I do.

P.S.- STAR WARS!! (LONG story)

P.P.S- I'd put "Sincerely," or "Your's Truly" at the end of this letter, but you're just not worth it.


-Ann Witty

James and I realized today, that the movie "Avatar" became available to rent. The obvious, is that we rented the movie with full expectations of it being great. And it was!
For those who haven't seen it yet, I will try not to ruin too much... but I do want to point out a few interesting parts of the film. The first, the movie is really about the army and military who go into space for five years, find a planet that is habitable as long as they have breathing masks. There is life on this planet, more than meets the eye! A lot of fascinating creatures grace the screen, and even had me saying "Is that... a jelly fish? No, its a pixie. No wait, its... what the hell is that thing?!" :D
At one point in the beginning, you discover that mankind has made a machine/robot of sorts. James stated, "Man, can you imagine how far we've gotten, and how far we have to go before we can build one of those things?" (Referring to the machine, that coincidentally, looked a lot like a Transformer). My response: "Fuck those! I want a real avatar!"
Awesome movie overall, and it gets 2 thumbs up. --and a third if I had one!

Yesterday James decided he was going to go down to the Canton BMV and renew his drivers license, as well as our tags for the cars. (Happy Birthday to James, from the state!) Earlier in the morning, we were discussing how I always seem to be right, even if I don't try to be. For example, I ask if James had taken out the trash. He replies with a "Yes," and I'll say "You forgot the bathroom garbage." Of course James would say "No, I got it." We go to look in the bathroom, and the trash is overflowing with tissue.

Well I have to say, that me always being right went straight to my head. Yes, I had unintentionally had my ego stroked. So James asks me if I need to do anything at the BMV. ...Yeah, because I just walk into a BMV everyday looking for something to buy! Anyway, I shake my head, and he goes to check my wallet. "ANNIE," he calls out in a state of panic!

"WHAT?" I respond.

"Your drivers license is expired!" James exclaims.

"Oh. Ok." I answer. "So I'm coming with you, I guess."

As it would turn out, my license had expired in March. I was a whole month late renewing my license! Of course, I wouldn't let James know that I was completely freaked out by the ordeal, because I'm the calm and collected one here. "Big Whoop." I respond as I make my way to the car. "You realize, we probably will pay a fine for this, don't you?" He asks. "So?" I say. What is the worst that could happen?

We get to the BMV and are helped right away (Which is really odd, considering its normally a 15 min. wait time.) The lady goes through the crap about being an organ donor, outstanding tickets, any other valid license's from other states... and she asks ME "Do you wear glasses when you drive?" I shake my head, and she directs me to a vision test station.

"...Never wear glasses." I start to babble. But inside my mind, I'm really thinking 'OMFG! SHE'S GOING TO FIND OUT I'M REALLY BLIND AS A BAT AND CAN'T SEE SHIT, AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO GET MY LICENSE UNTIL I GET MY GLASSES FIXED -BECAUSE I BROKE THEM NEARLY A DECADE AGO AND NEVER GOT NEW ONES!'

I'm instructed to read the left column, middle row. SHIT! "I can't." I reply. The woman says, "Can you try?" I again respond with, "No, I can't." Apparently, she gave James a 'Is she joking?!' look. I pulled away from the vision test machine. "I guess I need to get me some glasses!" I joke. The woman looks worried. Uh oh...

As it turns out, I got my license, just fine.

2 flimsy stickers to place on our license plates for the next year: $104.00

2 Identification renewals: $44.00

1 Late charge: $20.00

Being embarrassed about being told "You can't read a speed limit sign?!" at the BMV: PRICELESS.

For everything else, there's Mastercard. -Which, Ironically, our banks switched to because VISA wasn't good enough. So, my new Mastercard has been activated! :D

I would definitely eliminate Hate. Because there is just too darn much of it going around the planet right now. If we eliminate Hate, then just think of the possibilities! I've never really taken the time to consider it much, but in the words of Michael Jackson, "L.O.V.E."

Last night James and I sat down to watch the Disney movie, "Pocahontas" and it got me thinking... What about my heritage? I know that I have some Indian in me, somewhere. But how much? And where did it come from? If I could find out, and actually have a certain percentage, than I can go to school for free. That was motivation enough.

Found the papers on my biological parents that I had requested awhile ago, and found that it is from my Mother's side. So I started with google, and searched my mothers name. Nothing. I searched her birth records, and found nothing. I searched Canton high schools because apparently my mother grew up there. If she was the age of 31, when I was adopted, then that would mean she graduated in either 1977 or 1978. Guess I have to make a trip to the library!

I did however try to find Stacey's dad. And Google worked out just fine for that. Turns out the man has a long list of rapes and child molestation trials. He's been in prison since 1983, and was recently transferred to a Kentucky State Penitentiary. -Sounds like a wonderful person. *Sarcasm drips from me*

I also stumbled upon a picture of the dude. And holy shit, there is no mistaking him for Stacey's dad. Stacey, is the spitting image of him. He looks really old though... But that's nothing notable, because while in Prison, he admitted to having sexual fantasies about young women and children regularly. GROSS! So, he was born in 1941. My mother was born in 1958 or 1959. Which would make him quite a bit older, and he likes younger women. Hmmm *Scratches chin*

Any help would be greatly appreciated, if anyone has any clues as to how I can find my background without giving knowledge to my bio 'rentals.

P.S. - I can't just file for more documents, b/c then I would have to go to court, and the courts would notify my bio-mom. I don't want her to know I even exist.